My Duty to Speak

We Know How You Girls Like To Have Fun

Suzanne, USMC

It was the eve before my 20th birthday, I had been telling everyone it’s almost my birthday, I’d always been excited for my birthday. A few male marines told me they would be at a hotel we all used to hang out at and I should stop by. I didn’t know them and I had no intention of stopping by. So a group of my friends and I went to the hotel and got a room and we’re having a few drinks and we’re running around on the catwalk, that’s when the male marines saw us and asked us to come in their room… I was hesitant but they said come on we got you a cake. We went in shortly after that we were about to leave and one of them threw my friend on the bed, she jumped up and left. I was scared and started to leave but they kept saying we got you a cake and asked if I wanted to play cards. So I did, we started playing a drinking game which I was loosing most of the time. I remember putting my head down and on of the marines said do you want to lay down, I said no ill stay here. The next thing I remember is I was on the bed and one of them was taping me. I was crying asking them to stop and I tried to get away… there were four of them and they took turns. I remember the laughing as I was crying and trying to get away. At some point I dissociated, it felt like I was floating outside of my body and I was watching. This continued through the night into my birthday. In the morning I was afraid to move, I didn’t know what to do… they were on the bed watching cartoons and saying things about me like if she hadn’t been drinking she wouldn’t have had sex with us. The phone rang and it was my friend, I asked her to please come get me. She did and we went back to the barracks. I was bleeding vaginally and emotionally a wreck. Rumors were going around about how I was fucked in every hole. Male marines started approaching me because they thought I was easy. I went to the Chaplain on base and told him… he told me to report it to the police which I did. I was taken to the hospital so a rape kit could be done. That’s when the MP’s came… I was hesitate to give names but was threatened that if I didn’t I would be in trouble. I gave them the names and filed a report. The next day I was called into the commanding officers office and put in the same room with the four marines that raped me. I was terrified another marine came in and told them to get me out of the room. The next thing was going to NIS and they had me in the same vehicle with them. I went into the NIS officers office and the first thing she said to me was COME ON WE KNOW HOW YOU GIRLS LIKE TO HAVE FUN I said no I don’t. I was so scared and far away from home that I dropped it. Even though I dropped it, it has been 30 years of nightmares and flashbacks and self destructive behavior. I am finally on a healing journey with help from programs such as the Lone Survivor Foundation.

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