In 2008 a woman in the Coast Guard was murdered by a civilian. The police said that it was a random act of violence and caught the man that did it. Those who served with her in the Coast Guard were determined to prove that the woman was at fault for what happened.
She had a reputation in the Coast Guard as being a party girl and “sleeping around” so when news first came out that she was murdered after a night of drinking everyone concluded that she must have “met the man at the bar, brought him home where he murdered her” and they continued to say that it was her fault for doing something so stupid. They said if only she learned to close her legs that she probably would have still been alive. They said that she was a whore that only got what was inevitable.
The civilian police said that she was followed home and murdered. That they believe that she had no prior communication with that man. We were watching the news on the mess deck and one petty officer went on top of his chair as we were all eating and said something like: “That bitch deserved it. Whores get what they deserve.”
Here we have a woman who was murdered and they all found it to be a joke.
When I came to the defense of the woman then my sexuality came into question. They felt that since I defended her that I must have slept with her, mind you that I am a female, and that they are not surprised because she is “freaky like that.” I told them that I did not sleep with her. Some of the men at the station probably slept with all the women in the city. Every day off they go to the bar, use their Coast Guard status and try to get laid-we were in Texas so it worked well there. When I tried to compare what that woman may or may not have done to what they are doing and to stop with the double standards they called me a feminazi and told to ignore me.
In front of the media and to their family they were like totally different people. One person wrote on her facebook memorial wall what a wonderful person that she was and be missed and then shut off the computer and said the usual “that whore got what she deserved.”
Nobody deserves to be murdered even if they brought a man home from the bar.
If these men were willing to do and say this to a woman who was brutally murdered for no fault of her own (as if being murdered is ever the victim’s fault) then what do you think that they would say to a woman who survived a rape?
Stop blaming the victim.