Coast Guard

Coast Guard admits to covering up rape, sexual assault and hazing.

This is what Sabrina Elgammal, a Coast Guard public affairs told a rape survivor because public affairs were fed up that the rape survivor was speaking out about her rape.

As per the request of the survivor we can forward the entire thread to CGIS or Headquarters if they choose to investigate. mydutytospeak@stopmilitaryrape.org

Sex abuse onboard CGC Eagle

We have an international training program at the Coast Guard Academy where we allow foreign cadets to study with us. I was onboard the Coast Guard Cutter Eagle with a cadet that joined us from Northern Africa.  For most of the time on the Eagle I had to put up with his sexual harassment that included being groped, sexual comments, whistling as I passed by and an attempted rape. I was able to fight him off.

They tell you to report all cases of abuse. They drill in us that there is a zero-tolerance policy and support if and when we ever need it. When I took them up for their offer for help I was not helped. I was told that for foreign relation purposes that it’ll be in the best interest of the Coast Guard to not allow it to ruin his tour.  I was told by the so-called “support” that it was culturally acceptable in Islam culture to sexually harass women. In her exact words that repeat in my head to this day was: “In his country women have to cover their entire faces and bodies. This is a culture shock to him. Give him some slack.” They did not investigate my allegations.

Nothing is good enough for this Coast Guard Chief

I wasn’t raped or sexually abused. I just don’t know where else to turn to. Since this past summer I have been having problems with a Chief. He is now on his way to make it to Senior Chief and I don’t understand why they are keeping and promoting a man with such bad leadership.

On Monday it was my turn to cook. I made hamburgers, fries and salad. I asked my Chief if he wanted a Cheeseburger or a burger, and if he wants fries and salad. I put the Cheeseburger on the plate and filled 1/3rd of the plate with salad and the remaining 1/3rd with fries and served him his plate. I did the same for the Bm1. Everyone else got their own food buffet style but the Chief and Bm1 always demand that I serve them.

The Chief was staring at the BM1’s plate and asked him how many fries did he get. Bm1 counted off like 32 or something and Chief freaked out. Threw the plate across the table, pulled me by my arm and brought me to his office for a scream fest. He was angry that I gave more fries to the BM1 than him. In all honesty I did not count how many fries that I gave to the Bm1 and the Chief. I put roughly 1/3rd of the plate of fries and what looks like even to me may have been 2 or 3 less.

Another incident I was washing a boat and Chief came and peed right on it as I was cleaning it. Then laughed and left.

Chief demanded that I give him my bank account information that I refused. He said that he was able to get my bank information regardless because it is in my records from direct deposit so I might as well give him my bank information to save him time. He said that he’ld write me up if I did not give him my banking information. He slapped me. I was scared so I gave him what he asked for.

Everyday there is something that triggers his temper. At times he’ll physically assault me. I feel that no matter what I do that it’ll piss him off. No matter what I would do something to piss him off.

Nothing is ever good enough for him.

I talk to others in the crew and their advice is to ignore him. They think that he is doing all of this because I am a woman and a non-rate. It is all part of the initiation process for enlisting in the Coast Guard. To me it is downward scary. I want to get out.

Coast Guard recruit molested at Tracen Cape May, 2011

United States Coast Guard

I joined the Coast Guard this year. During my time at basic, a company commander from another company molested me. I was at the squad bay alone. I came back from a dental appointment to find that my company was not there. Panic struck cause I knew that my company should have been there and didn’t know what to do.  A lone recruit walking around Tracen Cape May looking for her company would have caused me tons of problems. Instead I assumed that they might be outside doing some IT or something and be back soon.

I walked through the male squad bay to the women squad bay.  Between the two-squad bays there is a small hallway. I was walking quite fast to the women squad bay. I bumped into a company commander from another company and froze. He had the reputation of being the meanest.  My mouth was numb from some dental work and could barely be understood when talked. He asked me why I was running indoors. I apologized. He said that I talk “like a retard.”  I explained to him that I just had dental work done and he asked to open my mouth so I did. He put his hands in and said, “You should take care of your teeth more. Having a cavity is lack of self control.” I nodded.  He ended up pushing me to the wall unzipping my ODU pants and started to finger me.  I did not tell him to stop. I did not run away. I froze and felt that I could see from afar what was happening. With one hand he was fingering me and the other hand he was touching himself. After it was all done he put his finger in my mouth and made me taste myself. He said that it was going to make the numbing all go away.

I did not report it. Reporting anything at basic training is close to impossible. You don’t have that trusting relationship with anybody.  I felt gross. I felt disgusted. I felt like a slut for getting sexually aroused. I could not even take a shower until the evening.

I still think about all that happened. I read the other stories on here. I am sad to see that I am not the only one that been abused this way.  Thank you for reading this. It helped me to be able to share my story.

Coast Guard blames children victims, age 8 and 10, for sexual abuse.

Denise L, Abused by a member of the United States Coast Guard

A year ago today my father died.  My father served in the Coast Guard for 30 years and received an Honorable Discharge and a generous pension. I am a Coast Guard brat. My father was also a pedophile. My sister and I was molested by our father who was at the time a Chief in the Coast Guard. I was 10 years old and my sister was 8 when we finally reported the abuse to my mom who in turn reported it to civilian authorities. With the help of dolls the policewoman in town took down our testimonies and arrested my dad for questioning. Coast Guard took over the case and made my sister and I go into the painful details of the abuse once again, this time without the help of the dolls. I remember the Coast Guard asking me if my mom put me up to saying this and to stop “playing pretend” because it can get my father in trouble. Coast Guard concluded that my sister and I were just looking for attention.

Our mother took us out of state to live with my maternal grandparents while filing for divorce. My father after being issued divorce papers he came looking for us armed with a Coast Guard-issued gun. My mother requested a restraining order but was told that since my father was a member of the Coast Guard that it must done through the Coast Guard channels. The Coast Guard refused to issue us a military protective order. As a result we ended up moving again and a total of 12 times until I was 18 and went off to college.

I was an avid soccer player for my college and newspapers and a google search on my name all comes up with information about my college and my team. One day my father arrived on campus with a Coast Guard issued weapon and threatened me to tell me where my mom is. The campus police arrested him and handed him over to the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard chose not to punish him. Thirty years of service in the Coast Guard, two arrests including an arrest for child sexual abuse and the Coast Guard still handed him an Honorable Discharge, bumped up his rank and gave him a pension.

What sick organization is the Coast Guard for telling children that they are at fault for sexual abuse? It is more than just a few rotten apples.  So many people were involved in protecting my father. In my eyes they are all at fault and should be investigated and punished.

I wrote dozens of letters to the Coast Guard and after a year they finally responded by saying that they did nothing wrong and that it was the fault of my sister and I. We were age 8 and 10.

Success: United States Coast Guard Captain Michael Husak, Rape Apologist, FIRED

The commanding officer of a Boston Coast Guard unit has been fired for what the service calls a loss of confidence in his ability to lead.

Capt. Michael Husak was temporarily removed from command of Coast Guard Base Support Unit Boston on Tuesday by Rear Adm. Ronald Rabago, the Coast Guard’s assistant commandant for engineering and logistics.

Capt. Husak has a history of blaming sexual assault victims, intimidating them and doing all he can to obstruct justice. His abuse against rape survivors often continued long after they leave the service. As reported first on MST news one survivor reported being forbidden to enter Boston Coast Guard base for an Auxiliary meeting because she was a victim of rape.

Husak, a 1984 Coast Guard Academy graduate, has been reassigned to the academy pending the results of an administrative investigation, according to a news release. A service spokesman declined further comment.

The executive officer of BSU Boston, Cmdr. Tobiah Taylor, has assumed temporary command of the unit.

BSU Boston handles functions such as buildings and ground maintenance, environmental management and security for shore units, ships and boats.

 

repost from MST News.

We all know a rape survivor. A sexual assault survivor speaks about being stationed at Coast Guard Burlington VT

Anonymous, United States Coast Guard Station Burlington, VT Crew 2011

Updated September 16. 2011

Every summer my parents will ship me off for a week or two to stay with an uncle who owned a condo by the beach. He was a bartender and worked at nights. During the day we’ll hang out by the beach, go to the amusement park and play baseball. After work in the wee hours of the morning he’ll come to my bed and molest me. This went on from the age of 8-15. He told me to keep quiet about it. I was scared so I did. I also went through some sexual assault, harassment, hazing not sure what it was during basic training. No body else involved reported it so I kept my mouth shut as well to not stir up any trouble.

When I received orders to Station Burlington I did what anyone else will do; I went online and did as much research about Burlington, VT and Station Burlington. It was going to be my home for the next few years might as well know what the town and station is all about. I came across an article about a woman who was stationed here and reported a rape. I read it and thought how screw up it was what she went through and continued on with my research to find the best bar/restaurant/place to live in the Burlington area.

The town of Burlington hates us. Sorry but to be such a downer but that it is the truth. When the Station makes the news there are always a couple of folks that want to bring up the rape. I was wearing a Coast Guard tee shirt at Hanaford and was scolded by some middle-aged woman about the rape coverup. There is even a group called “Vermonters against Station Burlington, VT” they even have a facebook page. On the good side all the comments on there say that they have nothing against the station but are disgusted by the way the rape case was handled. My mom told a friend of hers who grew up in Vermont that I am serving in Burlington. Her first comment was about the rape. My mom was calling me asking me about the rape. We are not known for the lives that we saved or making the lake a safe place, we are only known as the place that a woman was raped and the Coast Guard covered it up. I have been at the station for quite some time and can say we deserve every single negative thing that has been said about this station.

Before someone from the station reads this and try to track down who wrote it let me say that you know what I am about to write is the truth. A week does not pass by without the crew saying some sick rape joke or blame the victim comment. This is nothing unique to Station Burlington-at my previous unit we had a woman who reported sexual harassment. When she left the rumor mill ran wild. What is unique in this case is the amount of folks that know about the Station Burlington case as opposed to the previous case. Kudos to the survivor for not shutting up about what happened to her.

The Coast Guard did a pretty messy job covering up her rape. Photos of her injuries are circulating the web and you can’t possibly tell me that those injuries were from a woman who “cried rape” or a woman who “wanted” it. If you brutally attack and break the tooth of every woman who is “willingly” wanting to have sex go report yourself to the police right now. For those that said she “deserved to be raped” I can’t imagine what she possibly could have done to deserve to be beaten, raped and watch the man be set free. I won’t wish that on my worst enemy. Not even Dick Chenny deserves to be treated in this manner. After seeing those photos, which by the way were taken at Station Burlington I recognized the room in the background, the man who did this to her should have at the very least be charged with aggravated assault. Town of Burlington I agree with everything that you are saying about this station. We fucked up.

Nobody that is serving here today has served with the rape survivor. The information that we have on her was handed down, washed down and twisted by those who served with her. They were as the victim put it, the core group of people who did the majority of the victim blaming. It is not difficult to find out who they were since most continue to be the same assholes today. I am tired of reading all those “she deserved the rape but she is also lying”-contradiction (I’m talking to you, Christopher Simays, Joseph F. Lydon and Stacy Houg) comments. There was an entire debate on facebook which over a dozen people came to the defense for the rape survivor after Stacy Houg went all apeshit saying she fucking crazy, the rape survivor deserved it rant. When people who heard about the rape being spoken by the Congress, yes the CONGRESS Stacy was so adement that this rape was not spoken about in Congress and called everyone that made mention that it was-a liar. That was until somebody posted a link for a video that shows no other but a Congresswoman speaking about this rape on where else but on the Congress floor during a formal hearing.

What I witnessed was a Coast Guardsman that served at Station Burlington attacking people without any merit and jumping to conclusion for what she thinks was done. Now you tell me that Stacy Houg did not jump to conclusions over what happened immediately after she heard about the rape? What I witnessed was BM3 Houg trying to defend her wrong doings by continuing to discredit the survivor. I am sure that I was not the only who was following Stacy trying to cover up her abuse towards the victim by further abusing her and all who came to her defense. BM3 Houg may no longer be serving here but her comments are doing more than just making Stacy looking like an ignorant bitch. What is this doing for Station Burlington image? A whole lot of damage.

As I was saying, not one person who is serving here today served with the rape survivor. You’ll think that we have better things to do than talk about the rape survivor but I can assure you that we do not. When Senior leaves for the day and we are on duty we get bored, like watching our flat screen TV bored out of our minds someone please go be an idiot on the lake kind of bored. For god sakes we are on a lake in Vermont-trust me most days pass by without any cases. There is so little to do here that we are nicked named Station Vacation. There are a handful that love to make mention of the rape. They joke and laugh about it. They call the survivor crazy and tell us that she deserves it. I wonder where they learned that one from. What they fail to realize, aside from the damage it does to the reputation of the Station is how it affects those around them that have to listen to their anti-victims rants.

This is a message for everyone that is currently serving at Coast Guard Station Burlington and those who came across this page because they received orders here:

This post would probably cause an uproar at the Station if ever found. I can almost hear it now, I must be gay or I must be a woman impersonating a man cause how dare a man actually defend a rape survivor. For my own safety keep my identity private. I also changed some identifying information. To my shipmates think what you want because I could care less about the opinions of someone who said that women deserve to be raped because they chose a career that is for men or because she chose to go hiking or (my favorite) because she is pretty. Your opinion does not matter because you already showed us that you are not on the side of sexual assault or rape survivors. You showed us all that you are nothing but a stupid, ignorant, hateful human beings.

When I hear my shipmates talking about rape, the rape victim who walked the very steps that I am today or any rape victim at all I know that those words could have been about me if they only knew what happened to me as a child. When my shipmates joke that rape survivors are to blame I go back to the scared 8 years old boy that I was when my uncle first molested me. I go back to feeling that I was at fault for his drunken molested nights. For many years I have buried deep inside me what happened and it was not until I came to this Station that I started to think about my uncle’s abuse and even had nightmares about it. All of this blame the victim talk is stirring up emotions and I am sure that I am not the only one.

When my shipmates say that women who are raped are all whores I think about the women at my stations. If statistics hold true one of them was raped or would be raped while serving in the Coast Guard. If statistics hold true two men that I am serving with was raped or would be raped while serving in the Coast Guard. If statistics hold true most likely they’ll never report it. Furthermore if statistics hold true there are 2 of us who been victimized as children. I am one of them. What in essence you are telling us is that she, she, him, him, him and me are all whores.

When we hear you saying that the rape survivor, or any rape survivor, is crazy. The 5 people who statistics show will be sexually victimized are also listening to you. Like me they me be thinking back to when they were raped or assaulted or if they are yet to be victimized they’ll think back to your victim blaming rants. No matter how close that you are with them now. When they are raped they won’t tell you. You have shown to them time and time again that you are not a person who is on the side of a rape victims. You have proven to us that you are nothing more than an ignorant jerk.

When you tell us that rape survivors lie for attention or out of remorse you never know who may be listening. You don’t know if the PO2 spent yesterday evening at the hospital because his wife was raped. You do not know if the non-rate, you know the one who is dreading being here everyday, may have spent the summer before basic in a court room watching his sister testify against a man she claimed raped her-and then was set free as most rapists are and you didn’t put the two together on why he want to get the hell out of the Coast Guard. You don’t know if the BM1 will get a call on his cell phone while you are in the midst of your rants to be informed that his daughter was rape. Is the PO1 going to believe your rants about rape victims and tell the one that he loves what a crazy lying whore that she is or is he going to believe her and think that you are a total dickhead? Either way somebody loses. We, every single one of us, knows somebody who been raped or assaulted. Most likely there are dozens of people in our lives that been raped or assaulted and when you go on your- the victim is crazy and deserved it rant you are telling us that you are not on the side of rape victims or their friends or family or anyone that has been affected by rape and assault. You are not helping to rebuild the great reputation that this station had before we were known as the place that rape occurs and the place that rape victims are blamed, not believed and further tortured.

Now if only more people knew that so that we can steer away from the reputation that we are nothing more than rape victim hating assholes and instead build a reputation that shows that we actually care about this woman and all men and women who been raped or assaulted. All the training and work that we are doing does not matter if we all go back to our old ways and deny the rape survivor’s claims. The rape prevention training that we do is a freaking joke. At least we agreed on something.

I have reached out to help her and am one of her volunteer. She is smarter, harder working and kinder than any person that is serving here today and probably who have served here in 2006. While you are sitting around telling your rape jokes she is working to make sure that you are never a victim of rape. Yes she knows the name of every person who been saying things and she also knows the names of those who are as guilty and turn the other way by refusing to help her. She knows more about what this station is doing than what Senior and his pets/worshippers knows-many who are part of the let ruin the reputation of the Coast Guard by going on rants crew. When she no longer wants to speak out about what happened to her there are many more of us who are willing to speak out for her, if she wishes, and we’ll talk about the victim hating rants that we witnessed. As I said earlier the Coast Guard did a horrible job in covering up this rape and what happened to her as a result of reporting the rape. Unless you are dumb as a rock, and trust me there are some here who are, we all know that there was a coverup of a very, very brutal rape.

All those “don’t rape your shipmates” comments that are so notoriously tied with Station Burlington hold true even to this day. Raping a shipmate is more than the physical sexual act of rape. All of your anti-rape survivor rants or those who refuse to partake in them and walk away without telling others how wrong that they are as guilty. Basically if you are not working to actively eliminate the rape culture at the Station you are taking part in it.

As someone who been sexually assaulted I know that you are also not on my side. You have proved it over and over again. For that I have no respect for anything that you have to say. I know that everyone who is from the Station that is reading this is trying to figure out who I am. I have changed some identifying information to protect my identity. When I get out of this hell hole I’ll speak more frankly.

If you are a member of the public reading this just know that Coast Guard Station Burlington, VT has not changed since the rape survivor was here. Many still get their kicks in blaming, denying and refusing to help her and all rape and sexual assault survivors regardless if the help is directly reaching out to her or not telling someone to shut up when they go on a victim blaming rant or refused to acknowledge or talk about the rape. Cause that is a whole other problem, refusing to talk about the rape only further cover it up.

Now shipmates repeat after me:

Rape victims are not to be blamed.
Rape victims are not crazy.
Rape victims do not lie. The percentage of women that actually lie about rape in the military is less than .1%
I will not say anything bad about rape survivors because I do not know who is a rape survivor and who is not.
I will actively work to eliminate the hate against sexual assault survivors at Station Burlington.
I will acknowledge that there was a rape that occurred here in 2006. By acknowledging it I am not taking part in further covering it up.
I will reach out to offer help to all sexual assault and rape survivors that I know of. This includes anyone that I ever served with, friends and family members, and the woman who was raped here in 2006.
I support ALL survivors of rape and sexual assault. Do not choose and pick which ones tohelp and which ones you can abuse. No “I support rape survivors and sexual assault survivors except for..” excuses. You either helping us all or you are abusing us all. It is that black and white. Can’t make it any simpler for you all.

and for god sake when she comes back say thank you for her endless work to protect every single one of us from falling victims.

Maybe if we start doing that we won’t be outed by the Congress as the Station that call rape survivors crazy lying whores. Now that looked bad.

A friend of a rape survivor is disgusted by the treatment from the Coast Guard

Jael, friend of a rape survivor of the United States Coast Guard

Update: September 15, 2011

Thank you all for your help. My friend is finally getting counseling that she needs and is doing much better. Some of the name calling is still going on but for the most part it stopped after so much attention was brought to this case. We are hoping for a fair and thorough investigation. We’ll keep you updated as we find out more.

Original Post August 10, 2011

My friend was recently raped in the Coast Guard. Everyone is laughing at her and telling her that she deserved to be raped. She is thinking of dropping all charges because of how badly she been treated. I read every single story on here and I feel that they do this on purpose so victims don’t pursuit the allegations.  The rapist told everyone that she is crazy and cried raped.

The Coast Guard can be so cruel. This is the Coast Guard that we are suppose to respect? I never served and after this I plan on never serving.

Slut-shaming the US Military way.

By Panayiota Bertzikis

Hey y’all did you hear I am a  “psyco [sic] jizz gobbler” and a “slam pig” Of course you heard it-rape survivor and name calling they go hand in hand. Its okay. I know that if Mother Theresa (RIP MT) was ever raped she would probably have been called a slut. My colleague and best friend in the whole entire world-sisters not related by blood but I love this girl to death-Melissa was raped in the Air Force and then rumors flew like wild (no pun intended) that she had slept with THE ENTIRE AIR FORCE-ALL 350,000 of them! That must be some sort of world record. Wait in less than a year time did you say? God damm it Melissa you were one busy lady. Yes, she knows that I am writing about her as we are both on FB chat as I am writing this rolling our cyber eyes at how dumb the rape culture is. This is just what the rape shamers, rape apologists, rape excusers-whatever you want to call them-do to rape survivors. They  come in any any rank, age, ethnic group-it can be a man as much as it can be a woman. It can be anyone.  They call rape survivors psycho, tell us that we are at fault for what happened and of course call us sluts. It is called rape culture and slut shaming, more on that later. To the Coast Guardsman that  called me a jizz gobbler-no hard feelings I can not take seriously anyone that does not use real words.

The person who allegedly called me this was a Captain (he must have teenage kids at home or something.) For those not up to part with the teenage slangs of the minute (its okay at the age of 29 I already look at teenagers with the utterly confused WTH does that mean look. Wait I did that when I was 16 too-god I was always such a dork.)

Here are the definitions according to Urban Dictionary

Jizz gobbler: One who engages in the act or practice of ingesting semen in a rapid or enthusiastic manner.

Slam pig: a girl that is such a slut and has been fucked so many times, that most men realize she has some kind of venereal disease and decide not to go near her

Jizz Globbler and Slam pig seriously Captain? This makes absolutely zero fucking sense when it comes to describing a rape survivor.

Let just say that I really am a Jizz Gobbler (isn’t that the funniest fake word ever?) and let just say Melissa really did sleep with the entire Air Force willingly then why will we be raped? Did Melissa sleep with 349,999 airmen and then the 350,000th she cried rape? Can someone tell me how this work? We’ll be sluts (I know women should be able to sleep with how many people she wants without being labeled but follow me on this)  and go about our slutty ways and we’ll like it cause well that is just what a slut does and that’s fine if that is what you are into.  Bottom line:  YOU CAN NOT RAPE THE WILLING.

But  all jokes aside we have been raped as have one in three women who are serving in the United States Armed Forces. Yes I know you probably all know this but  this is for you Captain I called my shipmate a psyco jizz gobbler. The definition of rape under the Uniform Code of Justice is:

Article 120, Rape, sexual assault, and other sexual misconduct.

Rape

By using force: That the accused caused another person, who is of any age, to engage in a sexual act by using force against that other person.

By causing grievous bodily harm: That the accused caused another person, who is of any age, to engage in a sexual act by causing grievous bodily harm to any person.

By using threats or placing in fear: That the accused caused another person, who is of any age, to engage in a sexual act by threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person will be subjected to death, grievous bodily harm, or kidnapping.

By rendering another unconscious: That the accused caused another person, who is of any age, to engage in a sexual act by rendering that other person unconscious.

Yep some heavy stuff there. Not one word about sluts, sleeping around or jizz gobbling. The use of one’s force in a sexual manner to control and imply fear onto another person. Rape is done against the will of the victim. Again, if we willingly sleep with every man who remotely glance our way then it is impossible to be raped. Sluts says yes, rape victims say NO. My very good friend Jenny, an US Navy rape survivor and kick ass woman, said it the best: “ If we all wanted it, we would be back for more and not reporting rapes.” I agree with Jenny and you should to!

However we are living in a rape culture and in that all women who are having sex are sluts. Survivors are  slut-shamed  into thinking that they are at fault for being raped–for no other than because they are sluts! Every woman who I know who reported a rape was slut-shamed, even women who were not raped are often slut-shamed. Basically if you are a woman living today you have been called a slut at some point in your life. She had sex (consensual) with someone and she is called a slut. Even if you are a virgin you are a slut! I heard the media calling 5 years old girls slutty–five years old girls? What message is that sending them and all who heard?.  If you say yes to sex you are called a slut or if you say no you are called a slut. Either way women who are having sex or not having sex are being called sluts. This is called slut-shaming.

Slut Shaming is attacking women for their sex lives. For rape survivors it goes even further in that it attack survivors of sexual assault and rape by shaming her and making everyone-including the survivor to think that she “asked to be raped” . I have worked with over 6500 military sexual assault and rape survivors and from my professional humble opinion I do not think any one of my clients ever asked to be raped. Again if we asked to have sex it is consensual and therefore not rape.

Slut shaming comes in so many different forms. If you are a survivor of Military Sexual Trauma you’ll probably could relate to any one or more of the following examples of Slut-Shaming:

Straight out being called a Slut: Can’t get anymore simple. Calling a rape survivor a slut because well you know only sluts get raped. They may say it to our face but more often they don’t have the courage to do so they’ll go around our back, tell the entire crew, maybe post it on-line and use cutesy made up fake words like Jizz Gobbler. It does not matter what the survivor’ sexual history is-if she was a virgin at time of rape or if she slept with 80 men-it does not matter. According to rape-shamers if you been raped you are a jizz gobbler slam pig and that’s that.

Morning After Remorse: This often, but not always, goes along with drinking. You went out with some guys in which you just spent over a year with in Afghanistan. You drank to being back home in the USA and after 2 drinks you start to feeling a bit light-headed. You not sure what is happening cause normally it takes you more than 2 drinks to feel anything. Next thing you know you wake up and are half-naked. Any sane person can see that you were probably drugged. Your comrades and rape apologists though will cry “Morning After Remorse”. According to them you drank too much, you slept around and then went “oops I slept with the wrong man last night.”  What they fail to see is that us normal folks, you know none-rapists, when we are out with a buddy that may have drank too much we make sure that they are safe, we take away their car keys, drive them home and not use it as an opportunity to have sex with them as they are passed out in their own vomit. Rapist though use it as their chance to have sex without your consent (you can not consent if you drank too much–or been drugged). NO CLEAR YES=RAPE.

Imaginary curfew: I understand that some military installations do have curfews for all and if you out beyond curfew time and you get raped it is still not your fault. At one point the military had “women only curfews” in that a woman can not leave her barrack room after a certain hour without a male escort. When they came to realize that over 80% of women are raped by somebody that they know so a woman has a higher chance of being raped by the male escort than by a complete stranger walking alone they scratched that idea. Today though most posts do not have any curfews. As long as you performing your duties and following all regulations you can pretty much come and go as you please. If you on liberty and want to make a milk run to the 24-hours grocery story at 2am you most likely could. Unless of course you been raped. Rape apologists will argue that you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation by being out when it is dark. If you are out later than when your grandmother goes to bed you are a SLUT just begging, wanting to be raped. They are more concern on why you were out and about at 2am than the fact that you been raped.

You consent once, you consent always. So you been dating a guy or you thought some guy was cute and was making out with him at the bar or you are married or you been with a guy but you no longer together or you totally crushing on a guy and everybody knows it and then he rapes you. Whatever sexual acts that you did prior to the rape does not make the rape any less of a rape. Rape excusers though would blame victim. You were seen at the bar making out with him-and then you went to his room. You were asking for it! Well not exactly,  just because someone was making out with someone does not mean that they consent to every single sexual act. You slept with him and been dating. Having sex once-or once a day with someone does not give consent to have sex every single time. You are married to him. When you take your vows you do not give up your right to consent. Stupid arguments from stupid rape-apologists trying to do nothing other than SLUT-SHAME a survivor.

Fashion Police: So you chose to enlist in the military, graduated with honors from basics and MOS school, and right before your first deployment you fall victim of a rape. Next thing you know you in a room talking about the “evil of miniskirts and tank tops” and its all going so fast that for a second you wondered how Joan Rivers got herself a Marine Corps uniform and an M16 until you realized that it was your NCO and he is talking about red mini skirts and low-cut tanks. Why is he talking about  fashion when you guys are deploying in 10 days? Two words: SLUT SHAMING. What we were wearing when we got raped, whatever that outfit was, is the reason we were raped or so they try to make us and everyone else believe.  If we were in a red mini skirt(totally slutty), jeans and a tee-shirt (slutty but depending on how tight our jeans are we may be playing hard to get but still slutty) or our BDUs (well it looks slutty on us cause you know we have boobs and all). By blaming the victim and slut-shaming into making everyone including the survivor feel that she is at fault for what happened then how could they punish the rapist? It was the sweatpants and t-shirt that made him do it! Just to let you know whatever a rape survivor wears is going to be viewed as slutty. We can never win.

There is a movement called Slut Walk. It all started last winter in Toronto  when a police officer told an audience of college students at York University that in order to not be raped women should “stop dressing like slut”. Were people pissed! We are living in a culture that tells women to not get raped, instead of men to not rape. They took it to the streets, there have been Slutwalks in DC, Dubai, London, literally everywhere and on these walks women and men can dress up however slutty that they desire-some wore miniskirts and high heels, others in Burkas. Melissa and I attended a Slutwalk wearing our military uniforms. The message is ‘My outfit does not consent to you raping me’. Women get raped regardless if they are wearing a burka, a red mini skirt or the uniform of the US Coast Guard. For those in the Phoenix, AZ area I’ll be a speaker at the Phoenix Slutwalk talking about slut-shaming in the Coast Guard. Holler back if you interested in attending.

The military likes to control it people. They tell us what to wear, when to eat, where to live, when we can leave the military regardless of what our contract says-so if they can breach our military enlistment contract and get away with it why can’t they tell men and women that it is not okay to tell a victim of rape that she is…a crazy, lying or a slut? The slut-shaming is starting from the top (Remember Captain I called my shipmate a psyco jizz gobbler?) and making it way down the ranks.

I want to give you some solution to make slut-shaming go away but it is so ingrained in the military  institution as well as non-military rape culture that it is going beyond just a few bad apples.

As I said we live in a culture that slut-shame women for their every move. What can you do to help eliminate the rape culture and slut-shaming. Here are some ideas:

1. Don’t tell rape jokes or sexist jokes. Tell others why they are not funny! Need help? Go here.

2. Don’t blame women for rape. We are not raped because we are out at 2am, went out for beers with the guys or because our uniform looks “sexy” on us. The person who is to blame is the RAPIST!

3. Don’t call someone a slut or use fake words that mean slut! Women can sleep with whoever she wants (as long as it is consensual for all parties involved) without being called names. Whoever you sleep with just make sure that it is safe sex!

4. Reach out to rape survivors on post. Telling them that they you believe them and that they are not fault is the most wonderful thing to hear for someone who has to deal with rape-apologists every single day.

5. Support rape survivors. Support people who support rape survivors. Volunteer at the Military Rape Crisis Center or a rape crisis center in your community or volunteer to be a Victim Advocate!

Coast Guard forces rape survivor in psych unit with Sex Offender, Shawn Wren refused to respond to e-mails from survivors

For everything that happened to me one thing that stood out was being pushed into a GV by Lt Tutalo, my victim advocate, being forced to seek inpatient mental health treatment because of what they said “for crying” no, really? I was just raped was I suppose to be laughing and joking around?  I was crying and shaking the entire time I was being escorted to the hospital which was over an hour away by two men that were joking and laughing the entire time.

My command relayed to the hospital that I had suicidal ideation. When I denied that I ever said that I was suicidal they wrote me down as being in denial.

I was at the hospital for four or five days, in a mostly male unit. We had one small room at the other end of the hallway that were for the women. Before the room it had a sign “women only beyond this point”   I was, as far as I know, the only one there who was there for being RAPED. Others were there for serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia, some were SEX OFFENDERS. Seriously, if someone is a registered sex offender do you freaking think that they care about the 8X11″sign that said “women only beyond this point?”

It was literally like prison, not like I know what prison is like but this is how I imagined it.  We had to “earn” our free time. We had to “earn” our chance to go outside. When we were outside we were only allowed to be in this small, gated area in which there were guards surrounding it so we won’t escape. Eventually the doctors felt that I was not a harm to myself or others–wow, maybe I really did NOT have suicidal ideation. At least I got to leave. YN3 Romni Edwards picked me up from the hospital and asked after looking around “what did you do to get yourself in here” I responded “I was raped”. That kept her quiet for the rest of the trip back to the base.

The first day back I was called back in to speak to the Special Agent. He said that he interviewed my rapist and that he was a “nice gentleman” and that his story does not add up to mine. So, my rapist probably said “It was not rape,  she wanted to have sex that is why I fucking punched her in the face, broke her tooth and bruised her all up” is that how you treat the women that are wanting to have sex willingly? Yep, nice gentleman. Special Agent Dan Bradford, you are an idiot.

Lt Tutalo said that she learned better for next time. She said that it was all a “learning opportunity” same excuse on why she took months to find me an outpatient counselor to process the rape   I was just raped. You can’t say “hmm..what would happen if we put a rape survivor in a hospital with sex offenders”  A RAPE SURVIVOR IS NOT A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT.

I survived it though.

This is what the Coast Guard spent thousands (if not more) to develop ways to better improve their sexual assault response.  When I contacted the Coast Guard about this they came back in saying that they only do what best for sexual assault or rape survivors. Involuntarily forcing a rape survivor in a mostly male psych unit with sex offenders can not be the best thing for a rape survivor.

Coast Guard.  I know that you are reading this, even you Sexual Assault Program Coordinator Shawn Wren (can’t you respond to your emails from rape survivors?) why are you not taking rape or sexual assault seriously?

How many more survivors and how many more stories are needed to be told before you take accountability for what you have done?