Category Archives: Coast Guard

A witness speaks out. United States Coast Guard

Posted on by

John, United States Coast Guard

We had a woman come on our base from another unit where she reported a rape. Before she even made it to our unit everyone knew why she was being transferred and we were told to stay away from her cause we don’t want to find ourselves in a situation that would have her accusing us of rape.

She was assigned to work at the on-base coffee shop and I saw her every morning when I went to get my coffee. Over time I would have small talk with her and she was very quiet and reserved but you can tell that she was a very nice person and not the “lying, crazy whore that was raped” that everyone made her out to be but I still kept my distance and only talked to her a  few minutes each morning.

All the buildings on base are connected to each other through walkways. One afternoon I was walking to another building and saw a group of Coast Guardsmen in one corner of the walkway towards the building. When I looked closer I saw the woman surrounded by the men crying telling them to leave her alone. They were calling her a “crazy, lying whore” and telling her that she will pay for “snitching on their friend” and one said that “you are hot, I’ll love to rape you too”. I made my presence noticed by asking what is going on here and soon all the men backed off and acted like they were not doing anything wrong. They greeted me and left. The woman, her uniform ripped up and her in tears ran off the opposite direction.  I couldn’t even ask her if she was okay but she was obviously very shaken up.

I went straight to the Coast Guard Investigative Office on base to report what happened and the special agent told me that he knows who I am talking about and that the “investigation is a mess” and it is best that I do “not get involved”.   I was forced to leave. Christine Sullivan and Patricia Tutalo from work life was not any better. I knew that if I pushed the issue that my career would be in jeopardy.

Soon after she transferred out of the coffee shop and sent to work in another department and did not see her as often. Then one day she disappeared assuming she got discharged or transferred.

A couple of years later I was on-line and read something about a woman writing about her rape in the Coast Guard. She talked about being placed to work at the on-base coffee shop and made mention of being told “you are hot, i’ll love to rape you too” and I knew that it was the same woman. I tracked her down on facebook and sent her a message. She was a bit hesitant  at first, I would be too but over time we started to talk and she one of the people behind the Military Rape Crisis Center and saw this on facebook and decided to submit my story to get another perspective of what is happening in our military.

Some of us do want to help but we are threatened by special agents or military police that we should “mind our own business” and our jobs are on the line if we do not. Now that I am out of the Coast Guard I can speak more freely. I do wonder at time how her story will be different if I spoke up and tried to help her.

I hope one day that she can submit her own story but for now this is how I witnessed what happened to her. I am a father, a husband and a brother and one of the women in my life were brutally raped and I know how rape affects victims and their families.

My rape at TRACEN Cape May, United States Coast Guard

Posted on by

By Stacey, United States Coast Guard

Joining the Coast Guard seemed only natural for me. My Grand-father was a retired United States Coast Guard officer, my father and my three uncles all served with the Coast Guard, with an uncle that was a Master Chief. I grew up in a fundamental evangelical home having been home schooled by my mother and father who has become a pastor since leaving the Coast Guard. At the age of 17 I was on the bus to TRACEN Cape May, NJ to continue the family tradition.

I do not remember much about the rape. It was week six. I was called into the office of my Company Commander. He closed the door and raped me. I don’t remember much else. I remember after it all happened sitting on the floor of my squad bay watching my shipmates as if everything was in slow motion. Sitting there, numb. I could not cry. I think they called us to go somewhere or something cause I remember them all leaving. I remember just sitting there and my lead Company Commander (not the rapist) coming in looking for me. He was angry that I was not in formation and kept on asking what was wrong with me but I could not respond. He sent me to medical. I remember the medics asking me questions. Ridicules questions and I could only nod yes or no. I was sent to the hospital in town. A friendly nurse asked what was wrong but I could not respond.I was mute. I could not talk. She finally asked if I was raped and I nodded yes and started to cry. A rape kit was conducted at the hospital. Because of the level of emotional distress that I was feeling I was required to stay several nights in the psych. unit.

When I returned to TRACEN Cape May I was reverted to an earlier company. It was their way of separating us. I still saw my assailant at the chowhall and he found it fun to pick me out in line and question me on Coast Guard-related material. It was not much different than what every other recruit had to do only difference is that I was doing this with the man that raped me. He was eventually told not to speak to me and by doing so they moved my chow hour till after everybody left the mess deck. Not only was I being pulled away from my company to be investigated and questioned but was also ordered to eat alone. That Sunday I went to the religious services that was offered for all recruits. The Chaplin allowed me to use his phone to call home. I left a message for my parents.

On Monday and every Monday after that for almost six months I was reverted to an earlier company. I received orders to Seattle but because of the rape allegations I had to remain in Cape May until the investigation was complete. Instead of allowing me to graduate and assigning me a temporary position somewhere in Cape May they instead decided to revert me. I know week-six of Coast Guard bootcamp like the back of my hand, I did after all repeated it 23 times.

The investigation was a very difficult process. They questioned me close to 20 times often repeating the questions as if they were hoping that I would give a different response and change my story. I did not. I was asked why I went to my Company Commander’s office. What recruit will say no when her Company Commander calls her to their office? They asked if I was flirtatious to him. I was 17 years old being raised and homeschooled by conservative fundamentalist evangelist I do not think I knew what being flirtatious even meant. They also asked what I was wearing and told them my uniform just like every other recruit. The rape kit was “misplaced” and eventually they blamed me for losing the rape kit. It is against policy wherever you go to give the rape kit to the survivor but was to be kept by the hospital or law enforcement officials to review for forensic evidence yet somehow it was my fault for it being misplaced Almost six months later the investigation was concluded and they found “not enough creditable evidence to prosecute”. Years later I was unable to find a copy of my investigation and medical records from the Coast Guard. I was able to locate my hospital records from the civilian hospital that shows that a rape kit was performed. I was allowed to graduate and during graduation I could not find my family in the stands.

I had two weeks off before I had to report to duty. I went home and my mom answered the door and acted like it was any other day. My dad did not even get up from the couch. My Grandfather that lived upstairs in our duplex did not make an appearance. Something was wrong. This was not the welcome home that I was expecting. I went to my room and went to bed. The next morning everybody in my house exploded. My family was embarrassed and angry at me. My Grandfather, in his 35 years of service knew of only three rape cases and in each case the woman was “lying”. He was angry that I became “one of those girls”. My uncle agreed with him. My mother, being very fundamentalist religious was most concern about my virginity-or lack of and how pre-maritial sex looks in God’s eyes. I guess there is a quote somewhere in the bible that says that women who are raped are at fault and we should have fought till we die cause we are useless if we are rape victim and better off dead. I just remember her repeating it constantly to me. I was now a sinner. I spent the remaining days crashing at a friend’s house before making my way to Seattle.

In Seattle a shipmate picked me up from the airport and first thing he asked me was what did I do to get in trouble. I did not understood his question. It turns out that TRACEN Cape May told the crew of my unit that I was being delayed in Cape May due to an investigation, that is true, but it was interpreted by the crew that I was the one being investigated. Less than six months later I was being separated from service.

I was not welcomed back home. Because of my age and no job I was having difficulties renting an apartment in Seattle without a co-signer. I did not even own a car that I could live in. I met some people and went through a downwards, self destructive path. They introduced me to drugs and alcohol. The VA rated at 100% for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I used the disability money to self medicate because the pain that I was feeling from the rape and betrayal was so severe that I only knew how to numb it with alcohol and drugs. I knew I needed to improve my life. I ended up in a college class room. I never completed that semester. The kids in my class were around my age and living without a care in the world while I was dealing with a rape, being betrayed by my shipmates, my family and my country as well as being homeless. I moved constantly, mostly with men who were no good for me. I was battling severe addiction problems. I ended up in Boston at a party where I met my future husband who was a junior in college. We hit it off pretty well and I crashed on his couch for several weeks till he told me to get myself a job or move out. With his help I went through intense treatment for alcohol and drugs and finally made my way back to college and this time I graduated. We got married and moved to Washington DC for Graduate School. I landed a job working with the Congress where I am still employed today. I have a two years old son and another on the way. I have been sober for close to 10 years.

It is not all a happy ending though. My family is still not speaking to me, not even to see their grandson. They are even angrier that I went public with my story. However I do have a new family now; my son, my husband and his very supportive family. I also have my sisters, not sisters by blood but sisters in that we all served and all we been raped. Most importantly my little sister and the only person that I can call shipmate. I met her when she stood on the steps on Capital Hill telling America that she was Active Duty Coast Guard and a rape survivor. I remember just turning around and telling her “me too” and automatically we knew what each other went through and built a bond that won’t ever be broken. That is my family now.

I am lucky, I have a fairly high position working for a Congressperson and access to the entire Congress at my fingertips. But what about other people? It’s my duty to do whatever I can to stop this abuse and I hope by sharing my experience that anyone who feel that they are at the very bottom and do not see a way out that there is help out there and you can continue to live a very successful life despite what we went through in the military. If you told 19 years old me living on the street that one day I’ll be working for a Congressperson and be married with kids I wouldn’t have believed it but as long as you surround yourself with people that want to help and get professional treatment you can get better. It does get better but we need to work for it. I still have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and extreme anger by what happened to me in the Coast Guard but I need to take that anger and channel it in a positive way that would make changes for the better.

Raped by a Coast Guard Captain and why I didn’t report it.

Posted on by

by Bethanny, United States Coast Guard

I was a 21 years old MK3.  A Captain (O-6)  in my unit solicited the crew for babysitters for his three young children. Myself and an E-3 volunteered to do so. Alternating weekends as our duty schedule allow us we’ll take turns babysitting. This went on for over a year and I grew to love the children, his wife became my mother away from home and I was sad when I received orders to another unit and had to leave the children. On my last day of babysitting I was at his house watching TV, the kids were already upstairs asleep when his wife and him came home from a wedding. The Captain was slightly intoxicated. His wife went upstairs to check on the children while the Captain remained downstairs with me. Since it was my last day I wanted to say a proper goodbye to his wife so I stayed downstairs for her to come back down. The Captain said he has something for me in the kitchen, I assumed it was a good-bye gift or something so I followed him into the kitchen where he threw me against the wall, ripped my clothes and raped me. As soon as I could I ran out of that house and drove home. I never said good bye to his wife.

I don’t know why I did not report it. I was an E-4 and he was of higher ranked and very liked and well respected in the fleet. I also were PCSing to a unit within 03 weeks and he was set to retire in the upcoming year or two. I knew that I wouldn’t see him again after these 03 weeks. The next few weeks were difficult though and he was on my case for everything. He ended up giving me a negative page 7 for being late, something a man of his rank would never had taken the time to do  if it was any other situation, the two shipmates that I car pooled in and arrived at the same time as me were given a free pass. I knew that he was only trying to ruin my credibility in case I ever chose to report what happened.

I spent the next three years on a 210′. His wife sent me an email telling me how the children misses me and how I am always welcomed at their home. I deleted that email. Sometime during that tour I read an article that the Captain retired and quotes from others on how a wonderful human being that he was and how he always put his crew first. It just went on saying how a great person and leader that he was. You know, typical words of praise that someone gets when they retire. I ran to the head and vomited.

I ended up advancing to MK2 and my contract was up. I spoken to the Chief, my mentor at the time, who were encouraging me to re-enlist and stay in the Coast Guard. He saw how passionate I was about the Coast Guard and my job and felt that I could go really far in the service. I think it was a shocker to all when I declined to renew my contract.

What I did not allow anyone to know is how I felt inside. How I go in complete panic mode when I see a man with a Silver Eagle. How I wake up each night from a nightmare that I am back at the Captain’s house being raped. I knew that I needed to leave the Coast Guard to get help and get my sanity back. The summer of 2009 I left the Coast Guard and made my way home to where I grew up in Southern Connecticut. I enrolled in the VA system and sought counseling for Military Sexual Trauma. I attend support groups in New London hosted by the Military Rape Crisis Center and hear cadets and other Active Duty Coast Guardsman on why they too can not report their assaults. I applied for disability compensation and was denied because I did not report it and therefore there is no record that it ever happened. Everyday has been a battle just to live and often I am barely making it.

I do not regret leaving the Coast Guard. I knew that I had no other choice. I do not regret not reporting. the rape. Remember how a wonderful person and leader that this Captain was said to be? Why would anyone believe an E-4 instead of him? I do miss his children though and his wife and fear for his daughters. I just wish that there was a better system in place where we could feel safer to report it. I am now married and have a child of my own and just trying to get my life back together but the pain from the rape is still there and probably would forever be.

Sorry, my fault.

Posted on by

I was raped and they said that I wanted it then they said that I was lying then they went back to saying that I asked for it so I told them to make up their mind-Was my rape a lie or did I do something to ‘get myself raped’? and they went back to contradicting themselves; that I wanted it, that I am lying but I deserved it- then they discharged me from service.

That was how it went. That it how it always goes. Every survivor, every story. We are all told that we deserved what they think never happened. Cause you know we deserve being raped or being assaulted or being killed just cause we are the female

and we are the ones that chose to drink- but it okay for our comrade to spike it with GHB?

Our fault cause we are the ones that chose to go hiking with a shipmate-but it is okay when our shipmate throw us down on the trail, punch us in the face and rape us?

Our fault cause we are the ones that chose to use the latrine in the middle of the night – but it is okay when a fellow soldier follow us and rape us?

and we are the ones that are fulfilling every man’s fantasy of seeing a “hot woman with a rifle”.

Yep, our fault.

Cause we wanted to serve our country, cause we been raped and beaten–or killed.

Our fault cause we are young or lower ranked or pretty.

Our fault cause we chose a career that is male-dominant.

Our fault that our shipmates, our comrades, the very men that we signed up to take a bullet for choose to rape us instead.

Never mind you did say that–we are all liars, right?

that we are just out to ruin a man’s career-cause you know we signed up to defend our country, attend basic training, MOS training, deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan or out at sea for months without seeing our families, get raped just because we wanted to RUIN A PRECIOUS MAN’S CAREER. Yep, that is exactly why we walked into a recruiter office when we were 18,  NOT.

Or we are lying out of regret and remorse for “getting drunk and sleeping around” cause you know, it is our fault for being drugged, after all you did consent when you are passed out from being given a date rape drug, right? Well not exactly.

When we watch our rapists be set free with nothing more than an Article 15, it is our fault for not receiving justice, cause after all you claim to have a “zero-tolerance policy“so if we did not receive justice it is something that we have done wrong even when about ninety-percent of all accused rapists never see their day in court?

and when we are found dead you claim it is suicide, cause a 5’1 woman can shoot herself with an 40 inch long M16, cause it is still our fault when we are no longer breathing for doing what is physically the impossible?

Ninety-two percent of sexual assault survivors report being INVOLUNTARILY DISCHARGED FROM SERVICE FOR REPORTING A SEXUAL ASSAULT but it is the man’s career that matters? Cause we are the ones with “personality disorders” and “adjustment disorders” or whatever the bogus misdiagnoses is of the week.

Cause it is the man’s military and a woman has no place in it, right?

One in three females in the military report being sexually assaulted, so are we all liars or are we all sluts or maybe, just maybe the thousands of women that reported rape in the military were telling the truth?

my fault for thinking that the military actually cared about its sexual assault survivors. sorry.

_______________________________________________________________________

Written by Panayiota, United States Coast Guard

 

Introduction

Posted on by

It all started when a local newspaper published my rape story. I was called into James Freeman office to be told by James Freeman, Lt. Patricia Tutalo, Lt. Thomas Gwilliam and Commander Joseph Segalla to no longer speak to others about my rape. They were angry that I, an E-3 took it upon herself to inform the public that I was raped and that my command did absolutely NOTHING TO HELP ME. They were concern not about their lack of response to help a shipmate that was raped, they were concern not about the threats that I was receiving from my own shipmates but instead they were concern on how this would this look like for the Coast Guard reputation.  The next day I was handed a DD-214 and knew that I was given the liberty to speak.

The next few years I had the opportunity to share my story with members of the Congress, on national television and in several books including one that been taught in college history classes nationwide. I shared my story while on stage before 20,000 people and shared my story one-on-one with the new XO of the very unit that I reported my rape, in the very room. Each and every time I get to share my story I become stronger and know I am no longer that E-3 rape victim but a woman that survived something horrendous and lived to speak about it.

As I share my command’s response to my rape allegations, the civilian public jaws drop. How can a woman, in this day and age be treated so horrific and straight out backwards just cause she was raped? I have to remind them that what I went through while serving my country is nothing unique. It is happening to as many as one in three women in the military as well as many men. In the year 2011 right here in the United States of America rape survivors are still not being believed, being blamed for, losing their careers and at times murdered for reporting a sexual assault.

I know the pain of betrayal far exceed the physical pain of the assault itself. I know how it feels like to be treated like a criminal just for being a victim. I know how it feels like to lose your career while watching your perpetrator go unpunished. I know how it feels like to walk on base and hear “whore” or “liar” be thrown your way. I know that what I went through in 2006 has been going on for decades and it is still goes on today. I know that I do not want any more of my comrades, my vet-sisters, my shipmates to go through what I went through which is why I am sharing my story.

I am  inviting you all to do so as well. If you are a survivor, a family member, or a service member that witnessed abuse please share your story. Together, with the public knowledge of what is really happening in our military we can put an end to the truculent treatment of Military Sexual Trauma survivors.

To share your story visit: Be Heard

Panayiota

Coast Guard Station Burlington VT and Coast Guard Boston