Master Chief Jerald Motyka, United States Coast Guard

Master Chief Jerald P. Motyka

Three and a half years ago a woman was brutally raped while serving in the United States Coast Guard. This past Fall she was contacted by various members of the Coast Guard and the civilian public to be informed that Master Chief Jerald P. Motyka of the United States Coast Guard has been posting in public forums false information regarding the rape. He included his comments on what he feels a Coast Guard rape victim is by saying that a woman who been raped must have been “popular with the boys” or in other words if you been raped you must be a slut. He even went on in saying that rape is not a problem in the Coast Guard and that many women would lie about rape. In this particular case and regarding this victim that the furthest from the truth. If that is not bad enough after we did our own investigation we found that at the time this woman reported the rape, Master Chief Motyka was roughly 1500 miles away at a different unit. His rate of a Marine Science Technician does not give him any access to the investigation. He did not know this woman nor ever met her nor has any access to the confidential investigation. This is a clear example of a man using his rank and position to deliberately slander the reputation of a shipmate for the sole reason cause she reported a rape. There is absolutely no other reason why he did what he did.

During our own investigation we gathered more information about Jerald Motyka including a posting in which his wishes that pedophiles should have reduce sentencing, blames teenagers for being raped (he posts under the alias Malruhn) and an entire forum from several years ago in which he claims to be an Army Ranger, and later was caught in the lie.

The posting has been removed due the public outraged on this issue but let not forget that what he did and the pain that this survivor must have felt reading misogynstic rumors about her. The post did provide identifying information about the victim including a link to a news article about her rape. This woman is trying to heal from the rape yet she is being further abused even years since leaving the service. Military Sexual Trauma does not end when you sign your DD-214.

The victim herself emailed Master Chief Motyka to talk about this issue and try to understand why he did what he did. Her request to have him call her has been denied and he has not contacted her on this case however Captain Christine Cutter responded with:”

“Any member of the Coast Guard is free to contact you but I cannot direct that they do so. A command inquiry was conducted and concluded the post to which you are referring was not based on information obtained from official records. As discussed below, members of the Coast Guard have the same rights as other citizens to discuss publicly available information and their personal views in their private capacity.

The Coast Guard is available to meet with any congressional representative or journalist and conduct a full case review of the allegations made by you, if you believe that would be beneficial and you authorize us to do so.”

Obviously Captain Cutter’s response did not fulfill the survivor’s answer on WHY Master Chief Motyka has expressed such hatred against one of his own. As a result Master Chief Jerald. P. Motyka is officially listed on the Wall of Shame for the way that he treated one of his shipmate that reported a rape.

Sailor reports rape in 2009

Jennifer, United States Navy

I am Jennifer. I enlisted in the United States Navy in 2006. In 2009 I was raped by a Lieutenant on my ship. The rape was immediately reported and a rape kit examination was performed. My victim advocate gave me a lecture on drinking.She told me that I should never leave my drink alone even if I was to use the head and to know how much alcohol that I can handle. She said that sometimes when we drink we do things that we later regret. She said that even herself that sometimes she woke up from a night of drinking and regrets doing certain things. My victim advocate said that we have to accept our mistakes and not try to find a scapegoat cause it may ruin careers and lives. I was confused. Why was she talking to me about drinking?  I WAS NOT DRINKING WHEN I WAS RAPED.  I wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling. I was very sad, scared and angry. But she was only interested in talking to me about drinking.

The special agent that investigated the rape asked me if I was ever was raped prior to this rape allegation. I made the mistake of telling him that I was molested as a child. The special agent asked me how was I so sure that I was indeed raped by the Lieutenant and not having a flashback from being molested as a child .

The rumor on the ship was that I am a slut. During port call many of the men were interested in getting prositutes. A Chief screamed out “I am getting myself a hooker” The chief then came up next to me, put his hands on my shoulder and said “okay bitch, let us go get ourselves a room” i slapped him and left. I ended up getting NJP for hitting a superior.

I was being med boarded out for adjustment disorder because they said that after 03 years that they finally realized that I was having problems adjusting to the navy lifestyle. In 2010 I lost my career for adjustment disorder. I went to the VA that said that I do not have adjustment disorder and that I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and rated me at 100% for PTSD. Now I am back in college just trying to put it all behind me but it still angers me that everyone who did this to me can still be in.

Soldier reports Rape

Cathy, United States Army

I grew up a normal teenager doing normal stuff that my family wanted me to do. I worked on our farm that we had when I was little. My dad was a retired marine, my mom was a stay at home mom. My dad worked at truck driving we stayed on the farm and milk cows and feed the animals and grew crops. We did not grow up rich or well to do but we tried to act like we was a normal family. My mom and dad had problems of there own and my mom decided to move away and she took us and we moved to Tennessee where my mom’s family was at and filed for divorce from my dad it wasn’t until later that I found out why we moved off the farm in the middle of the night. My mom and dad always fought and my dad beat the hell out of my mother all the time and when he got through he beat on my older brother . I thought after my mother left him the abuse would stop well we moved from mother to father and my father abuse all of us kids and the abuse was emotional and physical abuse then my father didn’t want me so he sent me off to job corp he altered my age so they would accept me well they did i was grateful in a way I was away from him I went to school there and I got jobs there and i got my degree from there. While there I got gang raped by five boys and they went to jail.

I later went on with my life came home back to Mississippi where my mom lived to live with her new boyfriend and he had come to pick me up from the bus station. I lived with them and went to school and I got a job. Soon after I met my first husband and got married at 17 and then I ended up having a baby later and then another then I got a legal separated from my husband and I went into the military cause my brothers did and I was tired of everyone telling me I could not or would not make it so i made it. I did what I accomplished to do I have three beautiful children and I had the military shortly after I got out of AIT.

I went home and I got a call from my new unit I was assigned to and they said I needed to report to Camp Shelby for training I was going to Iraq. Again I had to say bye to my family and my kids. I wrote letters to them in case I died over there they would have something to remember me by. I waited two weeks and we got deployed over there on 04OCT05. I had to go over to another fob I had to go for medical for pre cancer and I got off the helicopter a normal day I went put my stuff up and went around the post and then I took a shower and went to the tent I was assigned to. I didn’t feel well so I went to sleep. I remember a man coming in to do head count then I went off to sleep again then I remember later getting woken up again this time the guy said that the chaplain needed to see me I had gotten a red cross message he told me I need to hurry up and get up and follow him. I did not know any different so I followed him he said that the man was in the tent here is a flash light look inside he is here. I did not think nothing of it so I took the flashlight over my head and open the door and I turned around to tell him there was nobody there he pushed me in and I stumbled over something on the floor he had me face down tied my hands with something I don’t remember what and then he turned me over on my back and he stuffed his shirt in my mouth and continued to take my clothes off and he took his off and then he told me not to move or scream cause his friend was over in the other tent and would come over and have his way then they would kill me. I was struck with fear and all i could do was lay there and cry then it felt like forever the last thing I heard him say was did i like anal sex and then I blacked out cause when I came to he was getting his clothes on and then he pulled my clothes up what was still attached and let me back to my tent he told me while he walked me back to my tent that if I came out my tent that he would come in and kill me or rape me again.

The next morning I reported it was investigate for two weeks so back to my unit they where talking crap about me and they took my gun away from me and I lost my rank not even knowing it and then they finally court martial the guy that done this to me and he didn’t get charged with the rape but he got charged with kidnapping me all he got was three years and all the evidence they needed was there.

He did not get justice for what he did to me and I have trouble everyday of my life now since that has happen I got married and I got a blended family and I got lots of troubles cause I’m still going to the VA for this and I have been in a program to and I’m still uneasy and even with my family have troubles with everyday life but I hope to let everyone know that I’m trying to fight this but it is hard just day by day.

Coast Guard ignored rape allegations cost young woman her life.

by NFM….United States Coast Guard

My niece was in the United States Coast Guard and was raped. She reported it and they told her that she was lying to get attention. They never did any official investigation even though many times she requested it. For over a year she had to work under the direct command of the man that raped her causing even further damage. Summer 2009 she was separated from service for reason of Personality Disorder, a condition that she does not have. She spent many months after getting out of the Coast Guard in a deep depression afraid to leave the house except to go out and buy booze to drink away her problems. In January 2010 she was found by her little sister. She had a fatal overdose on prescription drugs given to her by the Coast Guard that she held on. In her journal she wrote that she could not handle how she felt from being raped and the deep betrayal that she felt from the Coast Guard. She wrote of severe hazing on her ship, being raped, and the Coast Guard reaction to the rape.

I hold the United States Coast Guard 100% responsible for what happened to my niece and to the hundreds of other women that are raped. The Coast Guard still denies that my niece was ever raped and won’t take responsibility for her death.

Thank you for reading this. I sent this email to the Coast Guard Commandant and no response.

Editor note: The Commandant ignored her email like they ignored her niece’s rape allegations. Contact the Commandant yourself and say that this and all rapes in the Coast Guard are unacceptable and that the Coast Guard should do more to protect it service members.


Phone: 202-372-4411

Rape at Camp Pendleton, United States Marine Corps

Sarah ,United States Marine Corps

I joined the Marine Corps in 2003. In 2006, at age 22, I was a LCpl stationed in Camp Pendleton as a Russian Linguist. I guess it’s fair to say I was a partier… I drank several nights a week to the point of drunkenness, occasionally to the point of blacking out. I’ve since learned my lesson… On August 26th, 2006, my friends and I had been drinking in the barracks, “pre-gaming”, waiting for a friend to get home who had promised to take us out and be our DD. When he got home, he took one look at me, apologized, and said I was clearly too drunk to go out. He was concerned it wouldn’t be safe considering my level of intoxication and that it was likely I wouldn’t even be allowed in at a club at this point. I shrugged it off and my friends and I decided to just keep drinking in the barracks. I don’t have much memory of the rest of the night, but I do recall at one point walking past the perpetrator. He was a supervisor of mine, a Cpl 12 years my senior. I had talked to him at work about running, but that was about it. I didn’t really know him. Honestly, I looked up to him, as most of us junior Marines did. He was older, seemed more mature than the rest of us. It was well known that he didn’t drink, or cuss, or smoke, and he was always wanting to talk about God to everyone. Our command adored him. I saw him in a friend’s room. He was standing in her doorway as I walked by. I remember being embarrassed that he saw me as drunk as I was. I APOLOGIZED to him for him having to see me like that! Ugh! Makes me so sick to think about now… He laughed and said, “Oh, that’s alright!” And I kept walking. The next thing I remember, I woke up in his room with him on top of me. I found out through the investigation what had happened: He had come down to my room later in the night. I was there with some friends. He asked me to come watch a movie in his room. Since I was nearing the point of unconsciousness, a friend of mine that I don’t even remember seeing that night apparently answered for me, said yes, and helped carry me up to the perpetrator’s room. But I passed out soon after getting there, so my friend suggested calling it a night. My friend asked the perpetrator, “Is it cool if she just crashes here tonight or do you want to help me carry her downstairs?” The perpetrator told him it was cool to just leave me there… that he would take care of me… The only words I remember from the whole incident were after he raped me: he asked me if I thought God could still love me after what I had just done. I think a combination of having dissociated and still being so drunk are what kept me from responding, but I remember those words…

Completely confused and devastated (not to mention, still drunk), I wandered around the barracks and found a group of shady people hanging out by the smoke pit behind the barracks. They offered me drugs and I took it. For all I know, it was an aspirin, but the point was, I had no clue what I was taking or who was giving it to me, and I honestly didn’t even care at that point. Definitely not something I usually do… I mean, I had just been horrendously violated and it had been suggested to me that God could no longer love me… I was feeling pretty low… I didn’t want to report it at first. I wasn’t even sure if it counted as rape. With my memory as hazy as it was, I kept trying to convince myself it was probably just some sort of misunderstanding, that I must have said or done something to make him think I had wanted him to do what he did. But I wasn’t handling it very well. I was breaking down at work; hiding in the bathroom, crying. Not eating, not showering, not sleeping. So a few days after it happened, I asked a friend what she thought about such a situation, hypothetically… She told me I had to report it and she called our battalion EO Rep, thinking he was the guy to talk to. He came to my office and took me outside to talk. I told him what happened, leaving out the perpetrator’s name. I asked him if that was even rape, and how I could get into counseling because I was recognizing the fact that I was not OK. He demanded I tell him the name. I asked if it would be kept confidential. He said yes. So I told him the name. THEN he told me he wasn’t really the EO Rep, that he was just filling in while the EO Rep was away, and that he was required to report it by law. And that I, too, was required by law to report it. Thus started my personal hell…

My command told me from the beginning to not tell anyone about what happened, “for my own good”. They told me that my safety was “their first concern” and that they would see this through to the end. So they said… In reality, they did everything they could to drag my name through the mud and punish me for having reported it, despite the fact that I was forced to do so!! I was frequently told that I needed to just forget about the incident, and “treat him with the respect his rank deserves!” I suffered a lot of psychological stress (diagnosed with PTSD), several breakdowns at work, hiding under my desk, running away from the office, locking myself in my boss’ office, crying during a battalion hike, having a panic attack during a PT session. All because my command never honored their promise to keep me safe.

Initially, I wasn’t even moved from the office in which the perpetrator worked. I asked (begged) to work a crap job as a guard for a top-secret building. The perpetrator didn’t have a clearance, so I knew he would never be there and I would feel safer there. I was told that would be “special treatment” (despite the fact that it’s the kind of job that newbies are given when they first come to the battalion because NOBODY wants that job!) so they couldn’t do it. I was never even moved to another barracks like I was promised. I was forced to live below him for the next 2 years, constantly in fear, living in paranoia of what could happen. Their solution to that was taking a restraining order out against me (??!!) saying I needed to stay away from the perpetrator, unless it was work related. I was given the “consolation” that it was mutual: he would be forced to stay away from me unless it was work related, too. How nice… I told them I wouldn’t sign unless they took out the “unless it’s related to work” clause. I didn’t want to be forced to work with him. Again, I was told that would be “special treatment” and that I needed to put “personal drama” aside when at work and act like a respectable Marine, treating him with respect and professionalism. This was mere weeks after what had happened! I was in counseling and even saw a psychiatrist to treat me for the anxiety and panic attacks, the sleeplessness, and the severe depression. My command forced me to hand over my list of prescriptions (which I learned later they had no right to do) and told me that it indicated that I was too crazy to deploy or continue performing my job. I was told that I was a “threat to national security”.

They suspended my top-secret clearance, stripped me of my position on the deployment roster, and sent me to work for Area Maintenance. I spent 5 months there, picking up trash along the side of the road with “rejects” from other battalions. Area Maintenance is where you send Marines who are considered useless or troublemakers. It is also where other battalions had sent male Marines who were currently being investigated for rape. So I frequently had to listen to other perpetrators tell stories about how the girl “had it coming” or why she “deserved it”. And every time I communicated with my command, it was again thrown in my face that they didn’t believe me, that they adored him because he was a fast runner and he didn’t drink, and that I just needed to move on.

I had one female lieutenant, who didn’t even have any right to know about my situation, seek me out because she thought she “could help me – speak to me – as one female Marine to another”. She told me, “Well, what he did was capitalize on an opportunity. That’s not really the same thing as rape. You know that, right?” I was constantly being made to feel like I was the crazy one for being hurt by what had happened. They even suggested just charging us BOTH with “Inappropriate Barracks Conduct” as a solution to the whole thing! Him, for having raped me, and me for having drunk hard liquor when I knew only beer and wine are allowed in the barracks. Oh, they also suggested charging me for “drug use” since during the investigation I admitted having taken something from someone that night, even though the rape kit I did revealed no drugs in my system. In all odds, it was aspirin of some sort, but since I admitted that I didn’t know what I took, my command tried to jump on the chance to charge me with drug use… Seriously? Threatening someone for reporting something when they were forced to report it against their will?? THIS is the Marine Corps?? But my command was good at covering their bases. They did conduct the NCIS investigation, as they are obligated to. The thing that’s messed up about that, though, is the right to press charges lies solely with my command. I have no rights in this arena. NCIS has no rights in this arena. Just my command. So, NCIS came back with the results of the investigation, which just listed the facts: “he says he knew she was drinking, but that he didn’t realize she was drunk. She says she was passed out drunk and barely remembers anything. Everyone who saw either of them that night confirmed that she was visibly drunk and he was sober.” The end.

First of all, you would THINK that this would be enough, considering both California and military law say that any alcohol at all equates to inability to legally consent, but nope… They didn’t seem to care about that. I had begged them for a lie detector test, but they said they only issue lie detector tests if the perpetrator denies having “had sex” with the girl. For some inexplicable reason, they can’t ask “Did you know she was drunk?” or, “Did she seem incoherent?” or even, “Did she seem to be enjoying it?” Nothing like that. All they ask is, “Did you have sex with her?” and he had already admitted that. So they denied my repeated requests for a lie detector test. So everything came down to “he said/she said” (why everyone else’ testimony was useless is beyond me… chalk it up to another failure in this system). NCIS insisted that the decision to press charges or determine criminality was with my command. My command insisted that it was up to NCIS to tell them if he was guilty or not. NCIS said they couldn’t make that call, it was up to my command, so on and so forth… My command insisted that the results were therefore “inconclusive” and that their hands were “tied”. Told me once again that I needed to get over it once and for all and put it in the past. That I needed to “give them an honest day’s work”. Like I was somehow a bad Marine for having PTSD. One MSgt even took the liberty of telling all of his junior Marines about my situation, telling them that I was a lying whore trying to ruin the reputation of a “good Marine”. He told his whole office. Probably about 30 Marines… And since I had been advised by them from day one to keep my silence, many of my friends (who weren’t involved in the investigation) had no idea what had happened and were still friends with the perpetrator. I can’t even begin to explain how painful that was… Seeing everyone revere him as this super-Marine, while I was silently suffering from this hell, often wishing I were dead.

Since my command had failed, was now refusing to let me transfer to another battalion, and was now forcing me to go back to working with the perpetrator, I decided to go beyond my command. I emailed news stations, I called lawyers, I wrote to senators and governors (both my home state and California), and I even contacted the base IG (Inspector General). Nothing happened. News stations never replied. Lawyers told me they would love to help but couldn’t touch my case since it was the military. I was advised by my advocate not to trust JAG. She said their primary goal is to support the battalion command and that they would just take anything I might tell them and use it against me, to help my command shut me up. The politicians either told me that I was out of their voter range (not a citizen of California, and no longer living and voting in my home state) or that my command had done everything they were legally required to do. The IG came and talked to me a few times, but that was about it. I vaguely remember there having been a brief investigation into my command’s actions, but since they conducted the NCIS investigation, and that’s all that’s legally required of them, there was nothing to be done. They are legally allowed to refuse to press charges, no matter what. The more pressure I tried to bring down on my command, the more they mistreated me. I had gained weight from the depression and was placed on BCP. Basically, we worked out at lunch everyday. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, except shortly after I was put on BCP, the perpetrator, who had been promoted during this investigation, was put in charge of BCP! I was forced by my command to report to him everyday!!! And they don’t understand how this contributed to my mental instability??? I had my psychologist, my psychiatrist, and my victim advocate all lobbying for me, begging my command to take me out of this situation (and many other situations just like it) for the sake of my mental health, but all requests were denied as this would be “special treatment”.

Finally, after almost a year of fighting with my command… I gave up. I had sacrificed my clearance, lost most of my hair, gained about 30 lbs, and about lost my mind. I was completely defeated and had nothing left in me to keep fighting this system. I “moved on” in the sense that I started running and getting back in shape, working on me. I became very bitter and hardened towards the entire Marine Corps, feeling let down by a system that makes it illegal to sue your boss, no matter what they do to you. Upon giving up, I was called into one of my bosses’ offices and “congratulated” for having moved on. He congratulated me for giving up!! Again, this is the Marine Corps…?? A few months later, our battalion CO even held a battalion wide meeting where he told my story (without names) to everyone, and basically patted himself on the back for having helped get me through it! He even said, “I am proud to say that the Marine is now once again a functional member of this battalion because of our ability to step in and take the appropriate measures.” I hid in the bathroom for the rest of the afternoon-long brief crying. I hate him so much for having so callously swept everything under a rug, destroying so much of who I was, and then freakin’ congratulating himself for it! In front of everyone… Needless to say, I am beyond thrilled to now be a civilian. May they never call me back…

A witness speaks out. United States Coast Guard

John, United States Coast Guard

We had a woman come on our base from another unit where she reported a rape. Before she even made it to our unit everyone knew why she was being transferred and we were told to stay away from her cause we don’t want to find ourselves in a situation that would have her accusing us of rape.

She was assigned to work at the on-base coffee shop and I saw her every morning when I went to get my coffee. Over time I would have small talk with her and she was very quiet and reserved but you can tell that she was a very nice person and not the “lying, crazy whore that was raped” that everyone made her out to be but I still kept my distance and only talked to her a  few minutes each morning.

All the buildings on base are connected to each other through walkways. One afternoon I was walking to another building and saw a group of Coast Guardsmen in one corner of the walkway towards the building. When I looked closer I saw the woman surrounded by the men crying telling them to leave her alone. They were calling her a “crazy, lying whore” and telling her that she will pay for “snitching on their friend” and one said that “you are hot, I’ll love to rape you too”. I made my presence noticed by asking what is going on here and soon all the men backed off and acted like they were not doing anything wrong. They greeted me and left. The woman, her uniform ripped up and her in tears ran off the opposite direction.  I couldn’t even ask her if she was okay but she was obviously very shaken up.

I went straight to the Coast Guard Investigative Office on base to report what happened and the special agent told me that he knows who I am talking about and that the “investigation is a mess” and it is best that I do “not get involved”.   I was forced to leave. Christine Sullivan and Patricia Tutalo from work life was not any better. I knew that if I pushed the issue that my career would be in jeopardy.

Soon after she transferred out of the coffee shop and sent to work in another department and did not see her as often. Then one day she disappeared assuming she got discharged or transferred.

A couple of years later I was on-line and read something about a woman writing about her rape in the Coast Guard. She talked about being placed to work at the on-base coffee shop and made mention of being told “you are hot, i’ll love to rape you too” and I knew that it was the same woman. I tracked her down on facebook and sent her a message. She was a bit hesitant  at first, I would be too but over time we started to talk. I saw this on facebook and decided to submit my story to get another perspective of what is happening in our military.

Some of us do want to help but we are threatened by special agents or military police that we should “mind our own business” and our jobs are on the line if we do not. Now that I am out of the Coast Guard I can speak more freely. I do wonder at time how her story will be different if I spoke up and tried to help her.

I hope one day that she can submit her own story but for now this is how I witnessed what happened to her. I am a father, a husband and a brother and one of the women in my life were brutally raped and I know how rape affects victims and their families.

a Marine speaks out about her rape.

Anonymous, United States Marine Corps

I was 21. I was from a small town. All my life, I heard my parents tell me how bad I was and how they didn’t want me. I already knew that from the frequent beatings I took. One day I was beaten pretty severely and forced to sleep outside in my pajamas in below freezing weather. I decided right then that my life was going to change and I was going to do whatever I had to do to get away from a horrible situation. The very next morning at 830 on the dot I showed up in the recruiting office. The Marines were the ones in the office and so I went with them. I went down did my testing and was approved. Three days later I shipped out to Paris Island. I thought I was so lucky… I had no freaking clue what I was in for!

I made it through boot and I made it through MCT. I had so much hope that I was going somewhere in life. I felt like I had a new chance but then I got to my MOS school. I went out for drinks with my classmates. I had more than I should have which I didn’t realize because I had never been a drinker. I was brought up in a bible thumping home. I got up to go to the bathroom and didn’t realize that a fellow classmate was following me. He forced his way into the bathroom shoved me down started punching and hitting me till I was on my back. He ripped my pants down and raped me. Then he started to say hateful things to me horrible things that I can’t bring myself to share. He spit on me called me a whore and left me crying on the bathroom floor. I somehow managed to compose myself. That was one time in my life I was thankful I had been beaten all my life. I was able to fall back into survival mode and appear everything was normal. I dressed my self as best as I could being that my jeans were broken. I called for a cab and went outside to wait. My rapist had the nerve to come outside touch my shoulder and ask me if I was okay… like he didn’t do anything wrong. I managed to calmly say yes I am fine. Once again thank god for those beatings because it allowed to remain composed. They allowed me to know how to survive in scary situations where I feared for my life.

I got on base and went directly to the SNCOIC and told her what had happened to me. She literally laughed in my face started making fun of me saying things like don’t come bitching to me because you had sex and changed your mind. I just stood there staring at her. I couldn’t believe she was saying these things to me. Oh she made all kinds of fun of me and enjoyed it sent me to my room and told me not to leave. I thought perhaps the MPs were coming or a higher SNCO, but no one ever came. The next morning, my Gunny came to me and asked me what had happened. I told her and 2 days later, I was brought before the FSGT for conduct unbecoming of a Marine and for lying to an investigating official. They NJPed me! My rapist? Not a damn thing! Not only that they didn’t even seperate us.

Every single effing day for 3 months straight he tortured me and tormented me. He spread all kinds of rumors about me to every person in that place. Before long, I had no friends and was labeled a whore and liar by the FSGT who would not allow me to have weekend liberty. You know because a sh*tbag like me didn’t deserve it. They put me on every sh*t detail they could find. They called ahead to my new unit and told them that I was a whore, liar, and troublemaker. As soon as I got there the CO called me in his office and said I know how your kind is and I don’t want any trouble from you. Of course it didn’t matter I got NJPed 2 more times. Once for smoking my NCO told me I didn’t get a break like the rest of my squad which of course he didn’t tell me until I had already lit up. I didn’t get it put out quick enough for him. The second time, it was because they hazed me in the field for several hours straight and I finally looked at them and said eff you I am done playing your game. I know what you are doing and I know it’s wrong and I will go to the IG over it. The next morning guess who was in the CO’s office again getting NJPed? Yep me. I started drinking all the time. I didn’t care anymore. I would even come to formation so drunk other Marines would literally have to hold me up. I drank the majority of my time in the Corps away. It was easy to ignore the remarks when I was too numb to care. There was one man who was also a Marine who cared enough to try to help me and as luck would have it we ended up together and married.

I was discharged from the Corps with a “personality disorder” I got some disability but the VA refused to acknowledge that I was raped, but they offered me free rape counseling services! Thanks VA that was awesome not. My rapist got away with it and was allowed to continue serving. I am angry so very angry! I am mad at my parents and I am mad at my rapists and most of all I am made at the officials who covered it up and the VA for helping them! I feel like screaming this is MY life you screwed up how can you not care what you all did to me?!!! Yea I get it I shouldn’t have been drinking, but that doesn’t give him the right to beat me down and rape me or ruin my life and ruin who I was and what I have become now. I wish I had a happy ending, but there are no happy endings for stories like mine. I never got justice instead I was tortured and victimized for 2 years. Then discarded like a piece of trash. I still have the scars on the inside and I know and have accepted that I will never be normal again.