Carri Leigh Goodwin, United States Marine Corps

by Melissa Obrien as said by Carri’s father; Gary Noling

Carri Leigh Goodwin, USMC

August of 2007 at the age of 18 Carri Leigh Goodwin of Ohio enlisted in the United States Marine Corps to make her father, Gary Noling, a former Marine proud. During her time in the Marine Corps Carri reported a rape. Instead of being supported and having her allegations being taken seriously she felt that the Marine Corps did not do enough to help her. Similar to what many survivors reported, the blame of the rape was put on the survivor instead of the perpetrator. She was bullied by her command for reporting a rape and was eventually forced out of the Marine Corps for reasons of Personality Disorder. According to an external investigation the alleged rapist was accused of another rape in 2006 at Camp Pendleton but was able to continue serving. The alleged rapist did receive an NJP for the rape of Carri Goodwin but that was all. He is still in the Marine Corps.

The day she was discharged from service, her father Gary Noling along with her sister Misty and brother Lukas picked her up from the bus station happy that she was back home-safe. Five days later at the age of 20 Carri drank herself to death. To make matters worse, her sister was eventually charged with involuntary manslaughter and furnishing alcohol to an

Carri with her father Gary

underage person. Because of the affects of Military Sexual Trauma an entire family has been turned upside down, with losing a daughter due to the military lack of resources to help a survivor in need.

According to a journal that she left behind she confessed that the pain of the rape and even more so, the ill response from the Marine Corps were unbearable to her. Carri had an alcohol blood content of .46, six time the legal limit. In combination with medication given to her by the Marine Corps, including zoloft it stopped the alcohol from going through her liver and went straight to her blood. She has signed up with wishes to be deployed, go to combat and defend her country. Instead she was raped, blamed for being raped and betrayed by her command.

She left behind three journals. Below is a picture of one of the drawings found in the journal.

Taken from Carri's journal. A picture she left behind showing her how the rape affected her.

Gary Noling started a facebook group for his daughter. Visit it here.

40 comments

  1. I am so sorry for your loss Gary. *hugs*

    We know roughly how many servicewomen been murdered as a result of Military Sexual Trauma however stories like this or the suicide that you published last week shows that death after leaving service i…s common and how often does it happen we will never know.

  2. I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR POSTING THIS! I loved Carri so very much! never in my wildest thoughts could I ever believe that she would be gone so fast after discharge! the shock has changed me forever! I had planned so much for her, we talked just briefly a couple times that week! I was working 2 jobs so we could be in a nice place. 70 hours the week she was back! I never knew her pain, tho looking back now the signs were there. finding her journals after her death, reading the horror that was her final months has made me a VERY MAD PAPPA BEAR! she described very suicidal thoughts, and this was very unlike carri! she was a happy, strong, goodhearted child! THEY BEAT HER DOWN! they took that spark that was her away! the rapist destroyed this family, not just Carri ! since she went to the lord, the state took misty’s kids away, so it is hard to see my grandchildren, tho I have got to see the oldest, preston, and he is happy and cared for very well ! lukas has moved out, as has misty! I raised them myself so this empty house I worked for means nothing! CARRI was so much a part of our lives! I don’t blame God, I trust him! Carri was the little girl who would always give her toys to her friends so they would play with her! she was so giving and never thought of herself! She would be proud of this staff! She would want others to get help! she would scream HELP THEM! so thats what I will do now in her honor! I am so very thankful for this group of strong individuals! Your bravery astounds me to no end! you will always have my support! MAY GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!! HUGS !!!!!! CARRI’S DAD!!!!!!

  3. Oh Gary,

    Your contribution is so important around here. You are a wonderful man and an honor to Carri. I never met Carri but I do things in her honor as often as I can. Her loss has been tragic and I think of her often during each week.

    The military policy of discharging the victim and keeping criminals on active duty is going to have to implode.

    Thank you for your commitment here and everywhere.

    All my best,

    Jen

      1. Don’t worry Gary… Carri will be vindicated and get justice. We are going to blow them wide open and force change. I pray to god my daughters never want to join the military, but if they decide to do it, against my wishes, I want it to be a safe place for them to be- not suffering through this bullshit.

    1. I agree with you Jen. The military and these doctors should all be punished for giving out fake disorders. When they gave it to me I thought I really was crazy. I went all over the internet trying to find out what it was. Then I found some sight saying the military was giving these false disorders to all rape victims and that’s when I sent my medical records to a civilan. He wrote a statement saying it needed to be removed from my record and that he was dissapointed it those doctors that would do this. It got thrown out but I still kept getting punished. I think this investagation should look into that and find everyone that was kicked out with this and change it to PTSD so they can receive compensation.Because a personalty disorder is presumed before duty disorder and no one gets payed for it.

  4. Gary, I am so sorry for your loss. Carri looked like a beautiful and wonderful woman and would have made a great Marine if given the chance.

    Kelli

  5. I had the pleasure of knowing Carri for 6 yrs. She was always a bright spirit and very loving friend. I have and will always miss her very much, it’s hard for me to write about the past with her b/c she meant so much to me. I miss Carri very dearly and would do anything just to talk to her or see her again. I hope that in time God will heal my heart of the loss of a great friend.

  6. She was beautiful and she deserved better.

    Every time I read this, I get even angrier! This time, it is the “Personality Disorder.” The military should not be allowed to use this one.

    http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/11/30/personality-disorders-shakeup-in-dsm-5/

    Do you see the words “arbitrary diagnostic thresholds” in this article. The military is a big offender of arbitrary diagnosis techniques.

    Carri should have been kept and the division should have been discharged. The old paradigm will not know it existed when we get done with it.

  7. I hope this is ery successful because the USMC is the worst branch for this bullshit. They claim to be a band of brothers, but it is more like a band of mother fuckers,

    1. You got that right. They are a band of brothers… and that doesn’t include females. The only thing females are good for is to be on their backs or down on their knees. If you put out they’ll treat you somewhat better than a second class citizen. If you don’t, they’ll take it from you and then dehumanize you and treat you like shit. I am a proud woman full of honor courage commitment and integrity. Everything the marine corps claims to be but aren’t. Mother fuckers is right…

  8. I hope this is very successful because the USMC is the worst branch for this bullshit. They claim to be a band of brothers, but it is more like a band of mother fuckers,

  9. Gary, I’m very sorry for you and your families loss. I’m angry because the military was given two chances to bring the perp to justice and failed. I was in the Army and after my rape I was also given a fake personality disorder after speaking to a doctor for less than 15 minutes. I did fight it and went to a civilan doctor and forced them to delete it from my records.It made my whole command very angry with me and after I received many Article 15s. I did try to kill myself several times even when I knew I would leave my wonderful daughter behind. The pain from being raped is horrorable but being railroaded from the military makes it worse. Its time for a dynamic wake in the military. Time for a change. God bless you and your family and bring justice to you all.

  10. Gary – I’m sorry for the losses that have come upon you and at the same time, thank you for really putting yourself out there.

    I had a very bad time when I was processed out. I gained weight from a issue with my leg (I still get stabbing pains shooting through my upper thigh) and tried to work towards getting better but the way people treat you makes it hard. It’s ALL the forms of harassment and humiliation that hurt the most. I took years for me to feel better.

    All that you and those like you do is NEVER in vain. Even 13 years later I get those moments in which I am flooded with the memories of the thing said to me, about me, the looks and I won’t sleep – I won’t function. But finding all of you … I could really breathe. I wasn’t alone and I could finally see and show others that it takes it’s toll – it IS a serious problem and trying to explain it away is inexcusable.

    Men like yourself are a BIG part of the effort to inform. This is not just a woman issue. You being open about the details of how a whole group of people changed Carri’s life and all those she loved – is very important and really takes some heart and soul.

    Thank you Gary, from the bottom of my heart.

  11. Gary, it saddens me and makes me so angry every time this is put up yet nothing is done. Instead of your other daughter being charged why hasn’t the Marine Corps and the person who raped her been charged with involuntary manslaughter after all they are directly responsible for her death.
    Hopefully with you and so many others telling this type of story it will help present and future women serving.
    Again I am so sorry you lost her at such a young age.

  12. Mr. Noling, I am very sorry for your loss; it outrages me that this is going on and is so rampant in the military especially the CoastGuard. Reading these posts disturbes me and I have to wonder what is going on in the military? Stupid question on my part because I know the answer about the military sub-culture, but I am a former Marine and currently a police officer and can’t believe this continually goes un-noticed by higher ranking military people. I hope you will continue to be a voice for all survivors. Semper Fi, Bryan.

  13. I am a 25 year MST survivor and not treated much better than your daughter. It took 25 years to get help, and I still have rough days. I lost my sister to suicide, yet I can only imagine what you are feeling. My prayers go out to you and your family. God Bless!!

    Ginny

  14. My experience started as what would now be called sexual harrassment. It was in the late 70’s. It ended in attempted murder. They didn’t try the personality disorder then. I was put on control roster, and my new squadron commander told his replacement that I was a troublemaker. I think that was fairly mild compared to what goes on now. It wasn’t until years later that I went to pieces. I am so sorry this happened to your daughter. In trying to get help, I mostly got worse, so evidently that hasn’t changed. Thank you for not sweeping this under the rug, as some would do.

  15. Gary,

    Carri’s story and your work will help lead the country out of this darkness. The military’s response to Carri being raped was shameful. Our servicewomen and men deserve better. We at Protect Our Defenders are grateful to you and everything you have done in support of the cause and of our work. And we deeply appreciate your active support of STOP Act (HR3435).

    Warmly,
    Nancy Parrish, Founder
    Protect Our Defenders

  16. I want to say this I spent 7 years on Camp Pendleton and I know this is part of the culture here woman are objects and nothing more during the Iraq war the Marines dropped the standards and were signing up and reenlisting scum of the earth. Many use alcohol and date rape drugs on victims the female Marines are the first target then they move on to the woman in Oceanside and rest of San Diego county. What I find really disturbing is I have had female marines tell me in private that they were assaulted sexually by someone they trusted usually a nco it involved alcohol or from 2009-2010 spice parties were trending for a while on and off base at homes. It’s one of the dark truths of the military society that woman are mere objects. It is my belief as a male Sergeant of Marines that the greatest threat to military woman is not some foreign enemy , but there own male peers and those that are overseeing them the rabbit hole goes really deep

  17. hello my name is larry and i have been a victim of rape in the U.S. MARINE CORPS and the military has not taken responsibility for me being sexually rape. there is a lot of sevicemen that are afraid to admit to this horrible event that goes on with high ranking officers who turns thier heads the other way. SO,IM sorry about marine corp CARRI, i just wish that it dont happen to another marine. Lost but not Forgotten,

  18. The military does an excellent job of spending (or wasting) taxpayers money trying to get people to join and then do an excellent job of getting rid of you after they degrade you mentally and phyiscally not to mention destroying all the ideas that you had that America was suppose to represent. Then they complain about how American society is in moral decline when they help contribute it in a significant way.

    I was not rape; however, I was mentally humilitated by the junior NCOs base on my race (I was white and the junior NCOs were black) and the senior NCOs did not do a thing to stop it. After being discharge from the military, I no longer view the NCOs as a strong backbone of the military. Instead I view them as spineless people just like the officers. It took me years to get over it.

    Years ago, the miltiary could say that people like you and me “should have never been allowed to join the military” and get away with that remark; however, that phrase is no longer vaild anymore(although they still use that remark today).

    Gary Noling, I hope you succeed in trying to get justice for your daughter. When you look at the labor history of this country, managers (public, private, and the military) still treated the workforce as an expandable commodity today for the last 237 years.

  19. The military has not help me.i serve three years of my life for my country{united states of america}.my life has not been all that and maybe after leaving school i should have went to college and became a teacher. well after making the decision to join the service something terrible happen i was raped by another soldier not in my platoon but he was from another platoon. there is nothing more to say about this no more than my dreams are shatter for all i know good bye

  20. My heart goes out to all of you, I am not in the military, I am a rape survivor of 8 months and am just getting back on my feet due to much therapy and family support. This disgusts me that this is going on withing the military. I applaud each and everyone of you who protect our country.

  21. To Mr Noling i am not a military member though i wanted to become a naval woman. i had to stay and support my family. I pray you get justice not only for carri but all the women who have been used and abused by the military.. my sister was a marine and was raped by her staff seargent and of course she was blamed and nothing done. and they would not allow her to come home. they kept forcing her to sign up for tours she did not want we have been trying for 10 yrs to find my sister. i do not believe she is alive any longer. there is a reason the woman are humilated,raped,demeaned, and then dishonorably discharged. and the men allowed to get away with it,. i know many refuse to believe it. but the truth of the matter is all of it is part of a plan to destroy humanity. many are beginning to wake up to it finally. the whole idea is to break up and keep apart men and women so that they do no form a loving family a completeness of foundation that honors GOD. and no i do not mean organized religions GOD. the idea is to make men hate women and women to fear men. so that they will not form a bond of loving companionship. chaos and confusion is what they desire…. the military isnt fighting for the rights and freedoms of our country. the whole point of every war that ever happened was to break a country who refused to do what they were told by a certain group, or to steal a countries natural resources its the reason they are the billionaires and we are the rest. ever notice that no matter who bad a recession is.. somehow they acquire more money while the rest receive less. there is always money for specialized military weapons but never enough to feed, clothed, educate our people? notice their kids NEVER EVER GO IN THE MILITARY. and that israel receives 4 billion dollars every year of our tax dollars without fail. ? its out there you just have to know where to look to finally find out the truth of it all

  22. Robin H, by far those who serve in the military are best among us, they and their families make tremendous sacrifices for this country everyday. I know, I and several others in my family made one today. These people who are committing these horrific crimes, and those commanders who are even more vile than the offenders, may have a unit, may have a rank, but they are not Marines, never were, never will be…they are corrupt government employees. The “real” Marines, including their honorable commanders never tolerate these kinds of acts. Those in leadership who have conspired to dismiss these crimes should be court marital ed and driven out of the military as they are sent to prison. Once a rapist, always a rapist, once a corrupt commander, always a corrupt commander. The strongest advocate to bring change to this situation is the honorable Marine still serving, the honorable commander, still serving. They will lift the cry for reform with us.

  23. I AM HEATBROKEN THAT A WOMAN, WHO WOULD SACRIFICE HER LIFE IN THE MILITARY WOULD BE TREATED THIS WAY, I AM MILITARY ALSO, BUT KNOWING THAT MEN CAN BE SKUNKS I TOOK PRECAUTIONS BY CARRYING A KABAR KNIFE AND TELLING PEOPLE I INTEND TO USE IT SHOULD IT BECOME NECESSARY WHICH HOBBLED ANY MAN WHO WANTED TO TOUCH ME, I WISH ALL WOMEN HAD THAT ABILITY IN THE MILITARY, BUT WE DO HAVE TO CRUSH THE “OLD BOYS NETWORK”, REST IN PEACE CARRIE AND GARY, KEEP HER MEMORY ALIVE AND I PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, KUI, LONG BINH, VIETNAM 1968-1969.

  24. I am so sorry for your loss. I am just now dealing with an MST that happened to me during Desert Storm. In the last year, I tried suicide twice and by the grace of God, was not successful. I am finally getting treatment, but still have many residual feelings of bitterness towards the military that did not have our back.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s